


You hold me in the best way

by kayejwrotes



Series: Kinktober 2017 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Barebacking, Body Worship, But it's only mentioned and not at all graphic, Creampie, Deepthroating, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kinktober 2017, M/M, Mention of Abuse at first, Porn With Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 09:43:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12318495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayejwrotes/pseuds/kayejwrotes
Summary: We all have long days. Long, exhausting days, when everything just goes wrong from the first moment you put a foot out of the bed.And you can say sometimes it’s your fault. Well, sometimes it isn’t. It’s just goddamn bad luck and you shouldn’t feel guilty for this, not at all, but in the end you feel guilty nonetheless.You could have done better, you could have done different, you could have done a shitton of things other than that one thing that ruined your day, but you did it.There’s nothing you can do, if not accept the consequences for what you’ve done and try to pick yourself up.( Or, how Hajime helps Tooru cope with a very long day)





	You hold me in the best way

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BACK
> 
> WITH SHITTY AND NOT AT ALL EDITED SMUT  
> BUT THIS GAVE ME LOTS OF FEELINGS SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT TOO.

We all have long days. Long, exhausting days, when everything just goes wrong from the first moment you put a foot out of the bed.

And you can say sometimes it’s your fault. Well, sometimes it isn’t. It’s just goddamn bad luck and you shouldn’t feel guilty for this, not at all, but in the end you feel guilty nonetheless. 

You could have done better, you could have done different, you could have done a shitton of things other than that one thing that ruined your day, but you did it. 

There’s nothing you can do, if not accept the consequences for what you’ve done and try to pick yourself up. 

 

Easier said than done, but that’s really what Tooru believes he can do in this moment. 

He’s on his train ride, going back home unusually earlier, with a cardboard box full of staples he bought himself and the guilt of having lost another job because he said the truth. Once again.

 

He knows Hajime will be home for when he arrives. It’s earlier and they’ll probably have dinner together for once, but Tooru would have preferred this to have happened on a different occasion.

Hajime will see right through him as soon as he walks through the door, because he’s always been able to see right through him and because him holding a cardboard box just means one thing all over the world.

 

He was fired, because he stood up for a colleague being harassed by the senior mentor of the advertisement company they were interning in. 

The fucker had been taking “special care” of Ayame-chan since day one, and if at first things could be passed of as accidental touches and a special attention to Ayame-chan work, things soon escalated when the man had tried to lock himself in his office with the girl. 

Ayame-chan had been lucky enough to manage to run out of the office, but her cute shirt had been damaged and whatever had almost happened in there was obvious to everyone. 

 

The girl had gone straight to Oikawa, crying to him - his only friend inside that dog-eats-dog company - about what had happened, and Tooru had just seen red at her confession.

He had just made sure that she was safe and unharmed, given her his jacket, and then marched straight to said office and proceeded to yell at full lungs at the poor excuse of a man for what he would be happy to file has an “attempt of rape”, making sure all the colleagues passing by could heard what the man had done.

 

When the dust had settled, the man just smiled in a vicious way, and headed out of the office, whispering that a “faggot like him didn’t have any right to put his nose in business that didn’t belong to him”.

 

At the end of the day, Oikawa had been fired and Ayame-chan too, but he had made sure she reported at the first police station the attempt of rape and he had given his testimony as a proof for whatever might arise from this.

 

He wouldn’t have done things differently, he would have marched up against his boss whatever the outcome might be, but losing this job for such an injustice like this… It was heavy.

What felt even heavier had been the silence coming from his colleagues at the whole thing. The office was full with people working while he had marched up to his boss office, but none of his colleagues had dared stand up with him to defend Ayame-chan.

They had all kept their heads down, going on as nothing at all had happened.

 

He had felt disgusted at their behaviour. He had felt dirty for even sharing their workplace, the same he breathed.

 

Tooru still feels like that while going up the stairs toward his and Hajime’s apartment. 

He still feels their eyes turned away from him and Ayame-chan, the downturn pull of their mouths at the word “faggot” directed at him. It had never been a problem before, when talking with them, but today it felt as if he was seeing them for the first time, and it had hurt more than he expected.

 

* * *

 

Hajime has seen Tooru at lots of bad moments in his life. He has been there to witness them, cause them, heal them. He is such a big part of Tooru’s life, he has learnt to handle them in the best way he can.

But when that evening Tooru has come home earlier, the tell-tale weight of a cardboard box in his arms, he really hadn’t expected his boyfriend to react like that.

 

Hajime has tried to cheer him up for the whole dinner after listening intently to what had happened at Tooru’s office, but Tooru at some point had just shrugged off, saying he would take a shower and then go to bed.

 

The shower had stopped running while he was still washing dishes, and now Hajime finds himself on the verge of entering their bedroom, trying to decide what’s the best way to comfort Tooru in this moment.

There’s no sound coming from the inside, but he knows Tooru’s in there.

 

Hajime opens the door quietly, trying to not disturb whatever mood Tooru is in. 

The sight that welcomes him is of his boyfriend, bundled up in the covers of their bed, not making a sound, not moving. The room is dark, but he can see the shape of his body underneath the fluffy duvet, and within a moment he decides there’s only one thing he can do.

He makes quick work of his clothes, stripping down to his boxers and putting on his pajama pants, before he slips in their bed. Hajime shuffles a bit under the covers, fabric rustling loudly in the quiet atmosphere of the bedroom, but when he comes into contact with Tooru’s clothed back, he stops and hugs his boyfriend, spooning him as best as he can.

 

Hajime doesn’t talk, doesn’t ask, he just starts kissing Tooru’s back, working up slowly to the nape of his neck. He feels him shiver slightly under his lips, a small sigh escaping his boyfriend when he just stops there, not kissing, not leaving Tooru’s skin, just staying. Like he does every time Tooru needs him. He stays there for him, ready to listen to him, to help him, to console him, whenever he’ll need it.

 

He gives little pecks at Tooru’s neck, small signs of affection leaving warm sparks on his skin, but otherwise he just keeps him close to his chest, arms circling his waist in a loving embrace.

 

It’s only after some time that he feels Tooru shift in his arms, rolling gently to face him, and he seems ready to tell something, but Hajime beats him to it, kissing him softly on his lips, lingering just an instant more, before separating to look at his boyfriend with eyes full of love and warmth.

 

“Iwa-cha…” Tooru’s voice is a whisper but it resonates clearly in the quiet environment of their under-cover world.

 

“Shush…” Hajime silences him, kissing him tenderly on the cheek, a soft peck that just stays a little bit more than necessary, leaving an imprint of warmth on Tooru’s skin.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it right now so don’t force yourself, but I want you to know I’m here for you nonetheless” he continues quietly, hugging Tooru closer, his lips leaving a warmth trail on his cheek, up under his eyelid.

 

He feels Tooru come a little closer to him, his arms circling Hajime’s broad shoulders, but the need he has to curl up, to retreat, all the tension is still there.

Hajime can feel it coiled up inside Tooru, even when he is holding him so close, so lovingly, but there’s only one thing he knows could help his boyfriend feeling better and so he does.

 

Not only because Tooru needs it right now, but because he deserves this. His perfect, amazing, fearless boyfriend deserves all the love, all the attention, all the care Hajime can give to him. 

 

He trails soft kisses along Tooru’s neck, all along his jaw, quietly enjoying the silky warmth of his skin and the small tremors that travel on it. 

 

It’s not enough, but Hajime is often rough with words. He tries to be gentler, to be kinder, but sometimes he doesn’t remember to pay attention to it, and he ends up being rougher than he intends to. 

 

On the contrary,when it comes to touch he knows how to be delicate, attentive. 

 

His hands skim up and down Tooru’s back, soothing caresses against his stiff back, until he feels him starting to shed some tension under his caring touch.

Hajime doesn't speak. He just keeps mouthing lazily at Tooru's soft throat, humming contentedly from time to time, nuzzling him with his nose when he feels like it.

It's not something unusual between them, such a show of affection, but it's easy to get what Hajime's saying with all of this: “ _ I'm here. I love you. I treasure you. _ ”

 

He's not one to say it often or aloud, but he enjoys demonstrating it to Tooru in this way, with touch, attention, and looks.

 

His silent exploration continues slowly downward, lips soft and hot against Tooru's collarbones. He shifts his left hand on Tooru's hip, dragging it slowly up and down over the thigh now secured around his waist, taking note of his boyfriend's hand grasping at his hair, head slightly thrown back with a barely held whimper. 

 

He looks up for a moment and the sight of Tooru leaves him breathless. 

The long column of Tooru's neck is completely exposed for him, his oversized t-shirt with a weird graphic - in reality it's Hajime's, but Tooru has claimed it as his own a long time ago- has slumped down his left shoulder, baring the curve of his strong shoulder, the lean muscles moving lightly under the skin.

His soft hair still smell with the fresh fragrance of the shampoo, the same one he has being using since middle school, and the perfume has now subtly filled their little world under the covers.

 

That's Tooru for him. Contrasts of strength and softness, of ruthlessness and care, and Hajime finds himself struck by all the love he sees, feels,  _ breathes, _ for this guy that's currently trying to subtly hump against his leg. 

 

Tooru is so beautiful he often asks himself how could he have been so lucky to fall in love with someone like him. He's the lucky one. He really is.

Because not only has he fallen in love with Tooru, but Tooru loves him back, and he gets to come back home to sights like these every day, all for himself.

 

A sudden wave of love and pride for the wonderful man he has in his hands hits him, and with a quick movement he helps Tooru discard his t-shirt and after that his boxers too, not wanting anything in between his hands and his boyfriend's silky skin.

 

Now Tooru is naked under his body, his legs spread just right to accommodate Hajime in between them.

 

He takes a moment to look at him, to appreciate the beauty of Tooru's body, the lean expanse of his chest, flowing gracefully in the neat frame of his hips, and down, where Hajime is massaging them with his hands, the strong muscly frame of his thighs, the preview for his long, elegant legs. 

 

“...God. You are so beautiful Tooru…” and maybe it's Hajime’s voice sounding so broken, so awed when he looks at him, but an unexpected blush crawls upon Tooru's cheeks, and he suddenly feels the need to kiss it away.

 

And Hajime just does that, covering Tooru's body with his own, a painstakingly slow caress made of skin, warmth and want, to kiss Tooru's cheeks and lips, to blow him away with his tongue, to taste the muffled moans coming from Tooru's throat while he he squirms against Hajime's clothed cock.

 

He feels Tooru's length brushing insistently against his own, still trapped in his black boxers, the tip becoming wetter with every little movement.

He knows they could both come just like this, hungrily jumping against each other, but a plan has formed in his mind and he knows just the right way to make his lover come apart.

 

Hajime's lips trail kisses along Tooru's chin, a path made of wet, famished, nips at his skin that travels down, dipping just for a bit with his tongue in his boyfriend's navel. A preview for what will come next.

 

He goes down, nuzzling affectionately against his pelvis, biting playfully at his hips making Tooru exhale a delighted sigh.

He already has his hands in Hajime's hair, when the first lick against his already hardened cock comes and Tooru just feels himself die a little when he crosses Hajime's stare, hungry and in love, when he takes Tooru's cock in his mouth in one go.

 

A groan escapes Tooru's lips and the long string of whispered, breathy “ _ Hajime _ ” is music for him.

 

It's not a secret, but Hajime loves giving head to Tooru. He just loves feeling the weight of his cock on his tongue, the salty taste of precum when he swirls his tongue on the head, the way Tooru can't help but moan earnestly pulling and pushing at his hair, as if they were the only anchor in the vastness of the pleasure Hajime's giving him.

 

He takes him apart little by little, inch by inch, taking him deeper with every bob and suck of his mouth, until he feels Tooru against the tighter ring of muscles of his throat. 

The tip of Tooru's cock is securely nestled there, trapped in that welcoming warmth, when Hajime gives him a look with glassy eyes, just to make sure he is okay.

 

Tooru is already a mess, but a hot one.

God, sometimes Hajime wishes he could do multiple things at the same time, because right now he'd like to fuck him too while he has Tooru's cock in his mouth, just to unravel him even more.

 

He wants to see him drowning in pleasure.

 

Hajime hollows his cheeks and starts to suck, building a rhythm of little, slow movements to let Tooru feel every small change in the tightness around his cock. 

 

He sucks and bobs his head, taking him as far as he can. It's a mess. 

 

Tooru is moaning and whimpering, spreading his legs as far as he can, just to let Hajime sink on every inch he can take, while the other messily tries to eat him out like that, precum and saliva too. 

 

He’s so hungry for Tooru he almost gets caught by surprise when Tooru comes down his throat with a low, long wail, tugging Hajime's head down on his cock, feeling the slurping sound of swallowing around him.

 

It's almost enough to have him hard again.

Which he still partially is, after Hajime has finished his through inspection of him with his tongue.

 

He releases him slowly, and when he finally looks up at Tooru again it's to be welcomed by hands dragging him up against demanding lips.

 

The taste of cum is still there on his lips, but Tooru doesn't mind. He finds actually really hot to feel the aftertaste of himself  on Hajime's tongue. It's almost as if he has marked him.

 

Normally, after this he would give a lazy handjob to Hajime, too tired to do anything else but fall asleep after it, but he feels Hajime moving away again from his lips. 

 

He takes him by the hips, shifting them more to the center of their bed, before he lunges over Tooru to take something from their bedside table.

 

Tooru knows what he is doing, and even if he's still in a post-orgasmic daze the view of Hajime nipples over him.

 

“Tooru, are we out of c… Ahn!” The moan is clear and breathy, when he sucks on his boyfriend's nipple, biting playfully on it, before releasing it with a pop.

 

He look at Hajime with a very pleased smile, while the other comes back between his legs with their favourite lube in one hand and a very focused gaze on Tooru's face.

 

“I fucking love you, you know this Tooru, right?” the statement comes out of the blue, not because it's the first time Hajime has said it, but because he didn't expect it right now.

 

“ I love you, in any way you are, with whatever emotion you throw at me” Hajime's saying this while uncapping the lube under Tooru's attentive gaze, his cheeks taking on a reddish colour, “I will literally do anything for you, my love, you know this right?”

 

The first finger skims around the tight ring of Tooru's hole for a bit, before he starts to dip it in from time to time in, making Tooru gasp at first, until he breaches inside, a slow, slow fall inside Tooru's.

 

Hajime lowers himself over Tooru while he fingers him, caressing his cheek and leaving kisses over his face.

It's not the most comfortable position to do this, but he doesn't want to stay away from him right now.

 

“I loved you probably from the first moment I laid eyes on you Tooru…” he continues, adding a second finger after some time, “ ...and when I understood how a wonderful, strong, intelligent person you were… I felt doomed.” 

 

Tooru has his eyes closed, his lips clenched in a sad pull, but Hajime knows it's not from the fingers inside him, but for what his words are doing to Tooru.

 

“I was condemned to love you for the rest of my life, my love… I couldn't help but love you. How could I not? You are everything I could wish for.” And maybe Hajime's eyes are a bit hazy, but he doesn't miss the small tear traveling down Tooru's cheek.

With the utmost care, he licks it away, kissing the wet trail left.

A small whimper halfway between pleasure and a teary sob, escapes Tooru.

 

“And I can't condemn you for being strong and brave, for having defended your colleague, because I'm too proud of you.” he murmurs against the soft skin of his cheek, “You did so well Tooru.”

 

Hajime leans back a bit, fingers slowly following out of if Tooru, and he opens his eyes with a scared look, searching for him, until he sees his boyfriend quickly taking away his boxers, his cock bumping slightly against his stomach with the movement. 

 

“And I'd want to do well for you now too, to make you feel good, but we are out of condoms, my love.” Hajime declares in a whisper full of embarrassment against his neck, inserting his fingers back again inside Tooru's ass.

 

“I hope it's okay if I..”

 

“Hajime, fuck me.” 

 

“But we don't…” He desperately wants to follow Tooru’s request, because his cock has been screaming for attention for a while now, but he doesn't want Tooru uncomfortable with cum dripping out his ass. The thought makes him shudder involuntarily.

 

“I want… I need to feel you inside myself now. I need you inside me… please Hajime” is a whisper against his ear, full of love, and the sheer need to be closer, to feel connected. 

 

And Hajime complies, kissing Tooru in between tears and hungry bites of lips.

 

He takes his fingers out, pumping his cock just twice against the stretched rim of Tooru's hole before slowly sinking inside him. 

 

The sound that escapes their mouths when Hajime bottoms out it's the same: want, warmth, the feeling of being home, all balled up in one breathy moan, exchanged from lips to lips.

 

“...Move, Hajime, move…” and Hajime once again follows, anchoring himself at Tooru’s hips while he slowly start to push and pull, every slide into Tooru's hole a new sensation around his bare cock. 

 

It's not long before he builds up a steady rhythm, Tooru moaning and whimpering every time the head brush against his sweet spot, making him clench around Hajime, whom is not doing much better. 

 

He has been hard since he has given that satisfying blowjob before, but now… well it's entirely a new level of hard.

 

He just loses himself with every new plunge, every new depth he reaches inside Tooru. 

The hold around Tooru's hips becomes tighter, probably leaving signs, and the pace more brutal, but they don't seem to care, too lost in each other. 

 

The kisses become sloppier, the neverending string of “ _ I love yous _ ” almost a breath, the movement jerkier while they both come closer to the climax.

Hajime feels it building up inside him and he can't think of anything else but how beautiful Tooru is right now under him, face flushed and mouth opened in a pleasured moan while he pounds inside him relentlessly.

It's enough to make him come inside Tooru with two strong movement of his hips.

 

He shudders and groans over Tooru, spilling hot inside him, while his inner walls clench tightly against him and Tooru trashes and moans with his own orgasm, come spraying between them.

 

They just stay still for a while, catching their breaths, exchanging lazy kisses against whatever inch of skin they can reach, and when Hajime pulls out - unconsciously taking his cock as if he had a condom on - he watches amazed the sight of his come slowly dripping outside Tooru, hole still clenching with every breath he takes.

 

But he's soon pulled down again, his cheek crashing against Tooru's chest and instinctively he squeezes him between his arms. 

 

“Thank you…”

 

Hajime just shrugs it off, as if saying he has nothing to be thanked for.

 

“Hajime, I mean it.”

 

“And I meant everything I said, so stop thanking me, since I'm actually the one that has to thank you.” He doesn't need to look up to know Tooru's blushing furiously at this.

 

He feels his eyes slowly closing, and he wants to fight it, they still have to clean themselves up, but it just feels so right to stay here in Tooru's embrace.

 

“... I love you.” A barely understandable murmur it's all he manages, but what he gets back before drifting away to sleep it's even better.

 

“... I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> Comments and kudos are always very much appreciated. If you want to talk to me, come join me on Tumblr @kayejwrotes.


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